This post gives you three simple tips to increase your happiness and confidence.

Marisa Peer, a famous British psychiatrist, has been treating many famous people including Hollywood stars, Olympic athletes, rock stars, politicians, billionaires, and the royal family. She believes that the following tips will help us become happier and more fulfilled in our lives.

3 Secrets of Happiness

Something is missing from your life

Do you ever feel that something is missing from your life? Maybe love, relationships, success, money, happiness, or an attractive body. In the vast majority of cases, this lack does not have a physical reason that would prevent you from acquiring these things. Your own limiting belief, that this thing is unavailable for you, makes you unable to get it.

For example, if a child’s parents were not happy with each other, they had divorced, or one parent left the other, as an adult, he is also unable to have a happy relationship.

Or she grew up in a family where everyone was overweight, therefore she feels, there is no other option, she must be overweight too.

Another example: he grew up in poverty, therefore he believes, he also has to face financial problems throughout his life.

This fixed belief system, however, can be changed, and transformed, it is not engraved in stone. Our brain can be programmed to believe that we can and deserve to have everything we want for ourselves.

But how? How can you increase your happiness?

1. I am enough

You need to believe that you are enough. So many people suffer from comparing themselves to others and feeling less. They do not feel rich enough, successful, clever, confident, pretty, thin, and so on enough. Something happened in their life that made them think that they were not good enough or did not deserve something good.

Many successful people work hard to achieve more and more success and/or wealth, but they are never happy about their achievements. They are never satisfied with themselves and they think, if they achieve more, they will finally feel happy. But they still don’t.

This may be because, for example, they did not get enough love as a child, and they did not feel that they were appreciated. Then as an adult, they try to get the desired love and admiration from strangers.

Others eat too much because they try to suppress the feeling of lack inside them with food, by filling the void they feel. I wrote about this emotional eating in my previous post.

Unfortunately, this internal struggle sooner or later manifests itself in the form of physical symptoms: obesity, depression, alcohol, drug- or sex addiction, etc.

You are enough

If you ever have such inferior feelings, you might be very pleasantly surprised if you start saying “I am enough” every day for at least 21 days.

Repeatedly say “I’m enough, I’m enough, I’m enough, I’m more than enough, I’ll always be enough, I have enough…”. Marisa Peer suggests that you write this on a piece of paper and stick it on the mirror, wall, fridge, or wherever you often see it to burn it into your mind: YOU ARE ENOUGH.

I know this sounds a bit silly and waaay too simple, but when it’s done diligently, it can truly change your life. Marisa has seen the recovery of many of her clients just using this one simple tip.

2. Praise yourself to increase your happiness and confidence

Another effective method to increase your happiness and self-esteem is to start praising yourself. Start to say to yourself everything you want to hear from others: “I’m a good wife. I’m a good mother. I’m a good child to my parents. I’m a good employee. I’m successful, I’m happy, I’m attractive” and so on. Praise yourself!

Often, when others praise you, they do it with some hidden agenda, so do not wait for this, start telling yourself what you want others to tell you. Your life will surprisingly change.

Most of us cannot accept praise, we immediately say something negative about ourselves. For example, “You look amazing today?” “Ahh, my hair is a mess.” or “Congratulations, you did this very well!” “No, I made a mistake here and I forgot to do that.” or “You have lost weight!” “Yes, but I still have cellulite.”

We have to learn to accept the praise and to praise ourselves.

Critique, whether it is from our own or from others, destroys people, but praise builds them up. Therefore, we should teach our children by praising them instead of telling them constantly off.

You have to give up criticizing yourself too and say and think only positive things about yourself. You also have to learn not to let negative criticism from others in (except for constructive, kind criticisms). I know it is terribly difficult, but it can be learned just like anything else.

3. Using the “pain and pleasure” twins to increase your happiness and confidence

The primary task of our mind is to keep us alive, protect us from pain and divert us to pleasures. Let´s say you had a bad experience (you failed a test, had a presentation, or did not do well at a sports event). You say to yourself, “I will never want to experience this horror again!”. Your brain starts working on this wish to come true because it wants to protect you from this pain by any means.

So when you next face a similar task, it will try to prevent you from being involved. For example, you will feel completely blocked and cannot say a word, you panic, you get sick, and your stomach or head will hurt.

When you feel fear, you need to learn to feel excited.

Stop saying, “Oh, but I’m so afraid, I’m so scared, I really don’t want to do this”! You need to tell yourself, “I can do it, I’ll do it, I can not wait to see what it will be like, I’m so curious”, etc.

You have to paint the event as exciting, interesting, and joyful as possible in your mind because our mind leads us to pleasant experiences and wants to protect us from unpleasant experiences at all costs. Never tell yourself “I’m scared”, or “I’m nervous”, tell yourself instead: “I’m excited!”.

Retrain your brain for more happiness and confidence

If you liked these tips to increase your happiness and confidence please share this post with others. Thank you!!